Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Get Out, Get Out, Get Out of My Head

Ok so I recently had a revelation.  

Not  a serious one.  I'm actually making this post because I'm trying to take my mind off of everything I'm stressed out about and I just want to write about something mindless.  


So I'm going to talk about ONE DIRECTION!


Insert *"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"s and "EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK"s* here.


Ok so this post isn't about fangirldom.  Nor is it about 1D hate.

Ok so this post isn't reeeeeeally about One Direction in particular.  I'm just using them as a very good looking example.

This post is about dealing with celebrity fandom syndrome.  You could even call it CFS. No actually you can't.  Because there is a legit chronic illness that uses the acronym CFS.  It's called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. And I have it.  And it's not fun at all.


So anyway. This post is about realizing you have fangirl syndrome, and learning how celebrities are just people and learning to chill out about them.


I'm going to give this post another title:



~~~FACING YOUR INNER FANGIRL~~~

*Please note before you read any further that I am merely a 17 year old young lady with a MacBook, love of writing, an overactive imagination, and plenty of crazy personal experiences.  Take any advice within this blog with a grain of salt. This is more for mindless entertainment.  I'm not a shrink. *

Once Upon a Time, back in my senior year of high school this past February, I wrote a research paper on whether celebrities should receive special attention or not.  The thing was 12 stinkin' pages. When I wrote this paper, after hours. and hours. and hours. of research and tears and blood and sweat, I came to the conclusion that no, celebrities should not receive special attention.  I came to this conclusion for 4 reasons:

1. Celebrities are just people like everyone else.  Their jobs just so happen to involve acting or singing or professional sports playing.

2. Fans' extreme obsession can have negative effects on the celebrity.  Like fan mobs.  People get hurt and the celebrity can become emotionally scarred from all the attention and lack of being able to live a normal life.

3. Fans can be scarred because they begin to look upon the celebrity as their role model.  This is actually good in some circumstances: Ed Sheeran kicked his butt and worked hard to get where he is-- he seems to have a good work ethic.  Something that many people lack.  However, when I was 12 sooooooo many girls completely IDOLIZED Hannah Montana/Young and Innocent Miley Cyrus: young "country" super star supposedly grounded in family stuff and working to pursue her dreams as a singer/actress.  Ok.  But now who do you have?  Miley Cyrus: trying to be up-and-coming superstar who seriously flaunts her body in some pretty scary ways.

4. Your ultimate concern becomes your religion.  You worship what you hold sacred.  If you hold stars sacred, guess who're you're worshiping? CELEBRITIES.  And if celebrities are your ultimate concern, your religion kinda becomes Hollywoodism. That's frightening.


I know what you're thinking: "Mary, I really couldn't care less about your boring research paper."  Yeah.  It was boring.  But now I'm getting to the fun part!

What I didn't realize when I wrote the paper is that giving celebrities attention isn't necessarily bad.  When we give attention to celebrities, they are able to make a living, and we are able to see that they are normal people like us with some pretty awesome careers and have some crazy stupid moments and some rough days.  What we don't need to do is worship them. 

We don't need to let our inner fangirl consume us.  And this is how to fight her:

Look at this picture:    






I don't own this picture! (I got it off Pinterest...)

If your inner fangirl isn't screaming aloud right now, give yourself a good slap in the face to wake her up.

Reality is, the members of One Direction are hotties who are talented vocally and have adorable accents.  I mean, who doesn't like a guy with an accent?!

Two days ago my friend informed me that while she was sitting in her practically front row seat with her cousin at the 1D concert, Harry Styles waved at her.  And then she fangirled.  And then Harry laughed at her.  She practically had a moment with Harry Styles, awkward though it may have been.  Needless to say, I was pretty much green with envy for the rest of the day.  And very mad at myself for not coughing up the money last summer for a ticket to that concert. Oh well.

I would be lying to you if I said that I wasn't a fan of One Direction. I would be lying if I said that I didn't know every one of their songs and that I didn't have posters of certain members of the group taped to the back of my bedroom door-- in a total noncreepy way.  (But I've never classified myself as a "Directioner." I don't like to label myself.)

I've thought about how cool it would be to meet them and hang out with them and ok maybe date one of them.  DON'T YOU DARE LIE AND SAY YOU HAVEN'T.

But yesterday, I do believe I conquered my inner fangirl.  I came to a realization.

It all began when I showed my grandmother a picture on Pinterest of the British guy who waved at my best friend.  Yeah, I was still jealous.  And do you know what her response was? She said (and I quote): "Oh God, he's ugly!!" 

My dear, sweet, spunky grandmother.  She has no filter for her words.  If Harry Styles was within hearing distance of her she probably still would have said it.  Not that she's mean.  I think she's one of the coolest, sweetest people ever, and I love her to an extreme.  She's just brutally honest.  A trait I actually admire.

 I however believe that Mr. Styles is not ugly.  But when she said that I took a deep look at a picture of his face.  You do the same. Try to contain yourself.


I don't own this picture either! I got it off Pinterest as well..

Um.  Do you know what I see? A person.  A person who is living his dream.  A very good looking person.  But a person.

And reality is, every person is beautiful and fantastic because God made them.  And He's perfect and doesn't make mistakes.  

What I think happens is that we as stupid crazy humans come up with our own individual idea of beauty and "hotness" and judge people by it, instead of looking at the individual gorgeousness and talents in those around us.

Seriously. How many gorgeous guys are in your school or at your job?  I know there are plenty.  Do they have British or Irish accents?  I guess that depends on where you live.  Can they sing well?  Probably not.  But I'm sure they have some sort of cool talent.  If they don't then they're a loser and you shouldn't waste your time on them. :P

Anyway, lots of babbling later, my advice for over coming fangirldom to you is:  WAKE UP AND LIVE, PEOPLE!!!!!!!! GO OUTSIDE, GET SOME SUNSHINE, TALK TO SOME CUTE NICE GUY YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A CHANCE OF TALKING TO (just be careful.  don't come across as desperate or sluty.  That's not gonna get you a good guy.  Trust me.) GO OUTSIDE AND SPIN AROUND WHILE SINGING "BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY"!!! THIS IS THE REAL LIFE. LIVE IT. WAKE UP AND SEE THE BEAUTY AND EXTRAORDINARY THINGS IN THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU. yep.

In conclusion, yeah I think it's okay to know One Direction's songs (or have a favorite actor and watch their movies), and it's ok to think that a member of the band is gorgeous (or that actor is gorgeous).  It's ok to think Jennifer Lawrence is cool.  Which is good because I think everyone does.  

But keep in mind that even though that member of 1D is super hot, you most likely will never meet them, and you absolutely are likely to never. ever date them. or marry them. They may seem like Mr. Right, but you don't know them.  You may think you do, you creepy little stalkers, but you don't.  And what's important is that THEY DON'T KNOW YOU. But there is some hottie guy in your life that does. And some fascinating people in your life that do. Go talk to them. Mmmhhhmmm.

Celebrities are PEOPLE who's lives are in a snowglobe for everyone to witness. They're going to make mistakes. And so are you.  It's ok to look up to them, but don't wrap your life around them.  Because, yet again, they're people, and they're going to make mistakes. Try looking up to people you can actually talk to, like a family member, a teacher or something.

If I was a celebrity, I would want people to love my work, to be a fan of my work.  To like me because I was good at my job, and support me because of that.  Not because of my personal or physical appearance.  Think about it.

Ok this was a long post.  If you actually read the whole thing, I'm impressed.

--Mary




Monday, June 10, 2013

Oh Breathe, Just Breathe

I've always wanted to be a fighter, a "go-getter," someone who from the moment they wake up can't seem to stop.

But the truth is, deep down inside, I just want to hide under my covers all day in my warm comfy bed.


I'm not lazy.  That's not it.  When something needs to be done I do it.  I worked hard all through high school and my grades show it, I worked hard at my work, and I work hard at home.  Ok, maybe except in my room, but that is beside the point.


I think my problem is that whenever I sense a high stress situation, I try it avoid it.  This is probably because recently I have been diagnosed with anxiety.  And it's gotten pretty bad.  I don't like shopping anymore, I don't like being around people at all really.  I've discovered that I think that I subconsciously believe that if I avoid something that might be stressful then I won't have a panic attack.  I really hate panic attacks. (And anyone who says that anxiety is all in your head and you just need to "get over it" and "calm down" and "quit thinking about it" is an idiot.  How about you go have a panic attack and then we'll talk.)


But anyways, I've discovered that when you avoid things and push them away, life just gets more stressful and then the anxiety gets so much worse.  Like you begin not being able to sleep at night.  When I push things away, the stress doesn't go away.  It just keeps building up and pushing me down.  I know it may seem like a "duh" fact, but with anxiety, it's sometimes easy to forget.


So I've begun to start a new goal.  A goal to embrace the stress, breathe, go along with it, and fight it.  I know its not going to be an over night change.  It takes a while to break a habit and start a new one.  But I will work diligently at it.  I know I'll probably have to live with this anxiety for the rest of my life, and I would much rather take over it than it take over me.


I've also found it helps to talk about it.  Now, I'm a naturally very shy person, so usually the idea of talking to some one about something personal makes me extremely nervous, but I've been blessed with a best friend who just so happens to be going through the same stuff and is super encouraging.


Also, breathing helps.  Taking deep calming breaths can help relax the panic.  And remembering to breathe when going into a high stress situation I've discovered can help stop the panic attack before it starts (that was an idea I got from someone else). And it works.  Not all the time, but sometimes it does. And the less panic attacks the better.


Also, I've found eating helps.  This is no scientific discovery that has been tested, proven to work, and doctor recommended.  I have just found this out personally.  (I mean, what good granola bar wouldn't help any situation?!) Maybe food just relaxes me.  I think I may need to find a new method of therapy though before I end up the size of my house.


I also have to constantly remember that I am not alone.  Sometimes when I'm having a panic attack I basically panic because I'm panicking.  I think something is seriously wrong with me, and I feel like it's just me.  But it's not.  I have to remind myself that there are many people with anxiety, and where I am sure that every person's symptoms are different, it's nice to know I'm not alone.  We're not alone.


So go out and soak up some sunshine or dance in the rain.  Whatever your weather is up to right now :)


--Mary